


Survive first, then live

by 2ldr



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-22 18:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14314476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2ldr/pseuds/2ldr
Summary: The White Walkers are coming, Jon Snow bend the knee to Daenerys and became her lover, Arya tries to let go of her old grudges but fails most of the time. Jaime Lannister wants to be a new man, joins the army of the North yet Brienne wishes she had nothing to do with him anymore. Gendry Waters who now knows that he is not a Waters, tries to fit in in Winterfell and around the Starks. And Sansa. She works all the time, tries to honor her family, please the lords, make peace with Arya, store the food for the Winter, and is constantly surrounded by people. So why does she feel so alone ?





	1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone, this is my first story, I am a bit nervous ! I am french so if there is some mistake, please tell me I will be really happy. So, back to the story, this is my version of the post-season 7. My point is not to make any characters the "mean guy" : in GOT everyone has qualities and flaws. I will try to respect that.

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Sansa waited at the door of Winterfell the newcomers who were for now just a black spot in the middle of the snow.

She was shivering and yet she felt like only the icy wind of the north could cool down her fury.

_Jon bend the knee, Jon bend the knee, Jon bend the knee, Jon bend the knee, Jon bend the knee, Jon bend the knee._

Those four words swirled in her head since she read Jon's letter explaining the situation.

**_Trust me Sansa, Dany is not the tyrant we believe._ **

**_She gave freedom in Essos to thousands slaves,_ **

**_and desire nothing more than to unit once again the Seven Kingdoms_ **

**_under a fair and just ruler. I believe her to be this ruler._ **

**_She has an army, two dragons and good advisors._ **

**_Tyrion Lannister and Varys are among them._ **

**_We need all of them to win this war, to save this world._ **

No question about how she was doing, and how they were going to feed a whole army.

Jon didn't mention any food in the letter, and every time Sansa reread the letter, she prayed that it was just an oversight.

Sansa refused to announce the news to the lords, or even to Arya. Bran, of course, knew, but agreed with her on this decision.

It was wiser to let Jon explain himself rather than Sansa, who didn't exactly know what happened.

That, and the fact that Sansa refused to do Jon's dirty work. She had no doubt about what transpired between Jon and Dany.

Littlefinger himself warned her about her beauty, and Jon was only a man after all.

She had hoped that he was different, but that was silly.

So she did as if nothing was amiss, did her everyday work, and dodged any advance or marriage proposal.

She tried to restore the glass gardens but the North wasn't know to own a lot of glass, or sand to produce it.

If only she could negotiate with Dorne, but honestly she had no idea what was happening there.

The last news she got was months ago and Ellaria Sand, along her daughters, were preparing to wage war agains Cersei.

 _Stupid cruel women_ , thought Sansa. For all the pain she endured in Lannister's hands, her heart cried for Myrcella.

She was only a child in Kings Landing, but she always tried to have a soft word for her, in compensation for Joffrey's cruelty and Cersei's contempt.

Sansa remembered the last time she saw Myrcella, crying on a boat leaving for a foreign place, filled with strangers.

Sansa remembered thinking that it was the best for this sweet little girl, that she wanted to be on this boat too, so she could leave this poisonous stinking place.

Seems like neither Myrcella nor Tommen were safe anywhere, not even from themselves.

So Sansa reluctantly wrote a proposition to Dorne for sand, but her heart was screaming "monster ! child killer !".

She never got an answer, and after learning that Cersei's butt was still on the Iron Thrones, she had no doubt about who won.

While Sansa was musing about the past and her problems to produce food, Jon, Daenerys and their group were getting closer and closer.

***********************************************

The last bit of their journey was quiet. Jon didn't say much since they left the small inn they rested in last night and Daenerys was starting to feel uneasy.

The North was so hostile. The first time she saw snow, on the deck of the boat, she smiled. It was the first time of her life, and she will always remember how Jon looked at her, as if she was the most beautiful thing he ever saw.

As soon as they landed at White Arbor, her love for the snow seriously dimmed. Every thing was cold, wet and grey, the land covered in snow hurt her eyes, and people looked at her in barely veiled hostility.

Tyrion warned her long ago that unlike what Viserys told her, people had not been waiting for her to return to the Throne for the glory of the Targaryen House.

Still, it was hard to see these people, her people now, look at her as if she was just a foreigner who slipped herself in their King's bed.

It was even harder after they got this letter from Sansa Stark, Jon's sister, who announced them that she refused to inform the lords about Jon's decision.

_**You will have to do it yourself, my lord.** _

Nothing in this letter was impolite and yet, Daenerys could feel anger in this pretty calligraphy.

Since then, Jon has been fidgety, like a little boy awaiting the punishment, and it made her wonder what kind of woman was Sansa Stark.

Thankfully, Jon also learned in the letter that his others remaining siblings, Bran and Arya, were still alive and waiting for his return in Winterfell.

Jon couldn't wait to go home and she didn't have in her heart to stop him, even if she was exhausted due to the cold and riding on a horse for so long.

But the last bit of their journey was so quiet that she really started to feel anxious.

Winterfell was huge and austere and she could see people waiting for them, a redhead woman in the vanguard.

Daenerys couldn't stop herself from feeling anger at the idea that she will not be received as their queen, since no one knew it and put wholly the blame on that Sansa Stark.

Is it that difficult to transmit the information ? Jon basically jumped from his horse to rush towards a skinny tough looking girl and a boy sitting on a strange chair. Arya and Bran Stark.

He squeezed them against him and the girl hugged him as fiercely while Bran Stark patiently waited to be released.

"It is an honor to welcome you in Winterfell Your Grace, I hope the weather and the journey were not too harsh on you."

Daenerys started with surprise. She didn't see Sansa approaching quietly of her horse. She was a beauty, that's true, but she saw none of the "sweet beauty" Tyrion described to her.

"I am used to riding, I lived with the Dothraki and traveled the world and no cold can freeze Dragon Blood. I am Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of the Dragons, Right Queen of The Seven Kingdoms."

Daenerys heard several gasps in the crowd and Jon spun his head toward her. But mostly, she saw the look in Sansa Stark's eyes and got the distinct feeling that what she just said, was the wrong thing to say.


	2. Chapter 2

I hope you liked the first chapter ! I have to say that this story will not be Daenerys bashing, she just need to adjust herself to this foreign country and to pay for mistakes she did or will do. No one is the good or the bad guy here.

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Jon was in her arms. She was in his arms and she could feel Bran against their sides. They were together and they were home.

And Sansa was home too. And Sansa... where is Sansa ?

Arya disengaged from the massive hug and looked for Sansa and found her in a starring match with Daenerys Targaryen.

To say the atmosphere was tense was an euphemism.

But everything tumbled down when she heard Daenerys saying :

-I am used to riding, I lived with the Dothraki and traveled the world and no cold can freeze Dragon Blood.

I am Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of the Dragons, Right Queen ofThe Seven Kingdoms."

Slowly, Arya turned her face to look at Jon, and she saw his guilty face, everything came to light. Jon bend the knee.

...

After that, everything happened in a blur : Daenerys and her group got into the castle to rest and all of the Starks went to their father's solar.

Sansa's now thought Arya with bitterness. She knew Sansa was the oldest and was basically running everything around in the castle

but she couldn't stop feeling annoyed at seing Sansa working in their father's solar, sleeping in theirparents' bed and sitting on the lord chair. 

All these thoughts disappeared when Sansa closed the door and came closer to Jon.

\- What a queen you got, Jon.

\- Do not judge her so fast Sansa, just because of an awkward meeting. You can't say that she was welcomed very well ! We need her !

Sansa and Jon were arguing each other, speaking at the same time and yet it was as if they were speaking in another language for Arya.

Bran was staring in the fire, motionless.

She tried to attract their attention and had basically to shout.

\- Can someone explain what is happening here ? Jon did you really bend the knee ? 

Jon sighed, racking his hand through his hair.

\- Yes Arya I bend the knee. I am not a King anymore, Daenerys is our queen.

She left without saying anything. What was left to say ?

******************************************************************************************

Sansa was dismayed. As soon as Daenerys Targaryen opened her mouth to speak, Sansa saw Joffrey speaking. Arrogance, contempt and stupidity.

She wanted Jon to explain everything to Arya and to herself about his choice, about why he gave up everything they fought for for so long, for this woman.

And now everything is ruined because of damned Daenerys Targaryen. Arya was furious, at Jon and herself, and Sansa could completely understand it.

That's why she left Jon and Bran in his solar, and went looking for her little sister.

Her relationship with Arya was slowly healing and she didn't want this event to ruin all the progress they made these last weeks and with Baelish's death.

Without surprise, she found Arya in the training yard, butchering a straw dummy so violently that Sansa felt almost sorry for that thing.

She approached her slowly and explained herself.

\- Arya... I am so sorry, I didn't want you to find out like this, trust me.

She turned to face Sansa so fast that she stepped back a bit in surprise.

\- No I don't trust you on this ! As usual, you are doing what you want behind my back ! What were you hoping ?

That the lords find out on their own and set aside Jon as a King for you ? Like this you will finally get what you, Queen of theNorth and Winterfell will be yours ! 

Hearing this, Sansa's temper flared.

\- Are you serious ? When will you get the idea that I don't want Winterfell for myself at any cost in your head ?!

I wanted Jon to explain himself to you, to us, so it could not spoil your reunion, and now every thing is spoiled by that girl whostinks of arrogance !

I didn't know how to find the right words to inform you that Jon bend the knee without calling him a fucking retarded dickhead !!!!!!! " 

At the end, Sansa was shouting as loud as her lungs could and her voice reverberated in the training yard.

As soon as she realized what she just said and how loud she did, she looked frantically around her to check if someone saw or heard her.

Arya couldn't stop herself from laughing at her sister.

\- What ? Asked Sansa, annoyed.

\- It's just... It's just... I don't know what is so funny, you saying that Jon... Jon is a dickhead or you... freaking out about it. 

Blushing, Sansa started to laugh too. Somehow, she felt better. Jon was a dickhead.

******************************************************************************************

 _I am a dickhead_ , thought Jon. He didn't know what to do now. Somehow he knew that Sansa was mad at him, and so would be Arya, if she was still the girl he knew, 

He should have written to Sansa, to talk about it, instead of taking the decision alone. He knew that he had made the right choice about Daenerys,

but he did it the wrong way, he could see it now.

And Arya… He didn’t know what to say. When she took him in his arms, it was as if they saw each other just few days before and yet, in the solar,

she looked so cold and so furious. What did happen all these years to her?

\- Everyone changed Jon, so did you, suddenly said Bran. 

Jon couldn’t disagree. In his behavior, his way of speaking, Bran was doubtless the one who changed the most.

 _But what about myself_ , thought Jon, _did I change that much ?_

It didn’t seem so to him and yet everyone looked at him as if he was some stranger wearing his skin.

When he shared his feelings with Bran, his little brother had a curious expression on his face.

\- It is not about how you changed Jon, because you did, it is more about how much you will change once you learn the truth about who you are.

And suddenly Jon had enough of Bran’s bullshit.

\- What are you talking about Bran ? I am Jon Snow, bastard of Ned Stark, former Commander of the Night Watch and former King of the North

who bend the knee to Daenerys Targaryen. If there is one thing that is clear, it is who I am !What happened to you,

to speak in riddles and not giving a shit about being back in Winterfell, with your family ? »

Bran looked at him and Jon had the distinct feeling that it was Bran, the stranger now.

\- I am the three eyed crow now, Jon. I can see everything. I can see the past and the present. I can see Cersei drink all the wine of Westeros,

and Jaime Lannister travelling to the North to join our cause.I see myself climbing the Broken Tower and watching them fuck and being pushed out the tower.

I see our aunt Lyanna falling in love with Rhaegar Targaryen and running away with him.

I see our grandfather and our uncle being burned by the Mad King, and Robert killing Rhaegar.

I see Lyanna dying in a bed of blood and my father swearing to take care of her son.

You, Jon. You never were Ned Stark’s bastard, you always were Rhaegar’s son, and his only living heir. You are a Targaryen.

Everything was spinning around Jon, and his knees felt really weak. A single thought went through his brain.

_I slept with my aunt._

_ ********************************************************************************************* _

... comments ?


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